Three bedroom vinyl siding home with country blue shutters on a 2 acre wooded lot. This was my mom’s dream home. It doesn’t sound like much to many, but when you are raising a family of 3 in a 700 square foot, 2 bedroom mobile home, you keep it real. My daddy promised her he would build this for her someday, and he did.
On a piece of lined notebook paper, he drew out the floorplan of their future home. He knew it would be years before it would become a reality, but he had to start somewhere. He would sit at the kitchen table drawing, erasing, and redrawing until he got it just right. Once he was satisfied with it, he folded it and tucked it away in the kitchen drawer.
A year or so later, he and my mom bought a 2.405 acre tract of wooded land that was surrounded by farmland. Daddy worked hard to clear it off and make it build ready, knowing good and well it would be years before they could ever afford it. Almost 2 years later, he brought that piece of lined notebook paper to be drawn up by a professional. I was only 11 years old but remember how proud he was of that official floor plan. He showed everyone that came by the house. Once again, the drawing got folded up and tucked away in the kitchen drawer.
It took them over 5 years before they broke ground on their new home – they saved and saved and saved. After the project began, Daddy worked his day job five days a week, and spent the remaining daylight hours on that tract of land building our new home. This went on for over a year until it was complete. He traded labor with several people over the years, with the agreement that he would be repaid with their help or services when it was his turn to build.
I often think about the last time I walked away from that house and drove down the long, gravel driveway. Pulling that door shut was so hard. I was literally closing a chapter of my life. As I drove down the driveway I felt overcome with emotions. So much had happened there in those last 20 years. But I think most often about the lessons I learned, not from the four walls, but the love and grit that went into it.
That home taught me more than I realized. Through my father’s dedication to giving my mom her dream home, I learned: the value of hard earned money watching my parents scrape up and save so they could do better; what having great people around you really means by witnessing all my dad’s friends showing up with their hammers every Saturday morning; and what it means to work hard for something you really want and to be patient enough to let it come to fruition.
What feelings come up for you when you think about your childhood home? There are moments you can’t forget {and would never want to} like the smell of popcorn every Sunday evening, or walks through the yard looking at the fruit trees, or even some of the darker moments that pop out at times. I was so blessed because my home was a stable and steady one, where I felt safe, loved and supported. Although my daddy was quiet and gentle, he was our leader. He set the framework for our home, literally and figuratively. He taught me a lot about leadership and life. I want to share a few lessons I learned from him:
Family is everything. When things are hard and life beats you down, your family will be there to pick you back up. It doesn’t matter how many times you fail them, they will always be there. Don’t take this for granted.
Suffering hurts but you can get through anything if you stay close to God. He taught me when you don’t know what else to do, you pray. It sounds cliche, but there have been a lot of desperate times in my life where talking out loud to God {just like he was sitting in front of me} through my tears is the only thread that kept me going.
Don’t waste time. Time is precious and you always think you have plenty of it. He told me of all his regrets during our final months together. There were so many lost moments in his life because he thought he’d have time well beyond his 55 years. I’ve taken this advice a little too far and live EVERY moment, take every trip, go to every concert, write a blog…you name it. I don’t take my time for granted because I know tomorrow is never promised and your life could be changed forever by one lab test result.
Stay committed. When you put your mind to something, do it. Don’t try. Do! It’s hard to reach your goals but I think about the house that built me and how long it took to be complete. It taught me slow and steady will win the race. Keep your eye on the prize and stay focused. I need to be reminded of this one quite often because patience is not my strength!
There are so many others I could list but it would take all night to write them down. The lessons I learned from the house that built me are always being revealed to me through my life experiences. What lessons do you think your children will take away from your home? What lessons do you hope they will?
