All my life I’ve been fascinated with words. As a teen, I would breeze past all the heart throbs on the front cover of Teen Beat magazine and go straight the subscriber submission section. It was a place where dreamers like me could submit their poetry masterpieces. I’d read them hoping my skills would measure up to others my age. I had a journal full of poems and short stories and couldn’t wait to show my mom my latest piece. I love putting words down on paper and listen to them flow together while reading them aloud. Don’t worry. I flipped back through the magazine and tore out the full-page spreads of Luke Perry and Jason Priestly to join all the other heart throbs ripped from Tiger Beat and Bop magazines and taped to my walls.

Music is also a huge source of “words” for me. Through every stage of my life, I have always found music that will inspire me to face whatever is ahead. In August 2021, I was fortunate to see Jason Isbell, one of my favorite artists, play at Red Rocks Amphitheatre. The acoustics there were amazing. Not sure what I was expecting, but it exceeded my expectations. There was a song he played there that I’d heard a thousand times, but it hit me like a ton of bricks. The lyrics got me. My eyes filled with tears, and I started to cry. The song is titled “Hope the High Road” and talks about what a son of a….um, gun last year was and how tired and burnt out you were; how you weren’t sleeping well. Man, that hit me! Last year was a son a…gun! But I made it through, and so did you, along with all the other burnt out humans living through a pandemic. 

I’ve also used journaling as an outlet to write down the words that are deep in my heart that sometimes my brain will not let me process yet. Journaling has always been and remains a part of my daily routine. I have never verbalized or expressed my emotions without first writing them down and processing them. I often look back on my entries to see where I’ve been – sometimes at the lowest low – and to reflect on how far I’ve come. Life isn’t always easy, but it’s worth it. My journals remind me of that every day. 

Early in 2020 I finally got the courage to launch my blog, Life Can Be a Mess, by Jess, where I’d hope to share with the world my journey through hardship, grief, and resilience. I’ll never forget that feeling when I finally hit publish. I was scared I’d be picked apart and as a perfectionist I knew I had overlooked something even though I read it a thousand times. But I didn’t get mocked (to my face anyway) and I got more support than I had ever imagined. That energy I received from my readers kept me going for a while, but then life hit me hard. It hit everyone hard. I look back at myself, my family, and my friends and I’m amazed at what we’ve all overcome. A lot of us are still fighting through pain from loss, mental burnout, and health struggles. It’s hard and it’s okay to say it’s hard. 

After a few positive changes in my life, I’m feeling inspired again. I am ready to take on the world and all that it has to offer me. I want to continue to share my story with you and help you through those tough moments. I have bigger dreams than I’ve ever had before, and I cannot wait to take you all along for the ride. I’ve been working behind the scenes with some amazing people to help set me in motion for the next big step. It’ll be a long road to get there, but I’ve got the tools in place and the people in my corner that will help every step of the way. 

All that being said, I want to introduce you to the first step in my journey – my blog which is now known as The Journals. Most of my writings are inspired by the things I have jotted down in my personal journal, so I will build upon my entries and share with you a deeper look into my therapeutic writings. Bear with me as I kick off the dust and get back into the groove! Thanks for the encouragement. I hope my story will give some encouragement back to you!